Brangelina Set To Become A National Holiday

Jennifer Aniston’s favourite celebrity couple, Brad and Angelina, are currently in Namibia awaiting the birth of their first non-adopted child. With no more ‘beautiful’ orphans left in the world, the Hollywood starlets have been forced to go ‘the biological route’. The countdown is now on and the local media, using shamans and ground elephant tusks, have predicted that Jon Voight’s grandchild will emerge any minute now.

In a radio station poll conducted by ‘Radio Wave’, 50% of listeners voted that the newborns arrival should be made a national holiday (an honour ‘usually reserved for kings queens and national heroes’). The couple are also rumoured to have asked Namibian Governor, Samuel Nuuyoma, to name their child. Isn’t it wonderful! Brad and Angelina have always had such a great affinity with Namibia and now their hard work has finally paid off. Maybe they could name individual grains of sand after Jolie’s previous sexual partners, or oust Christ from the calendar and celebrate Pittmas every year.