Pamela Anderson Will Marry Rock

Grab your hat and fake tits, Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock are getting married in just over a week - July 29th according to 'US Weekly'. Pammie's online diary reveals her innermost immodium-free thoughts:

"It's been a whirlwind... spontaneous but well thought through... Feels like I've been stuck in a time warp... Not able to let go of MY family picture... it's been sad and lonely and frustrating... I've raised my kids alone in hope of a miracle...

... Well my miracle came and went. And came back and back because he knew that I'd wake up one day and realise that I was waiting for nothing... I'm moving on... I feel like I'm finally free... I'm in love."

My heads about to implode with ideas and questions. What are these 'whirlwinds' and 'time warps' of which she speaks... when can we expect the 'miracle'? Her mind is like an evangelical theme park.