Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt

... is the name of Brangelina's sprog, according to official sources. The baby girl was born at 1:40am local time near Swakopmund, some 400km from Windhoek, the capital of Namibia. Local elves and brownies have publically applauded the birth location and child naming. "We feel that ever since the pixies left us magic folk things have become somewhat dry. Having a celeb tooth fairy in our Namibian division should really spruce things up. The toads and smakkleworts of Swakopmund are preparing hollow oak swamp for the christening as we speak."

Jennifer Aniston, who's vagina is reputedly made from career and low carb soya beans has so far refused to comment. However, a close source quoted in The Sun revealed: “Jen has found it hard to cope with Brad’s baby news. She knows it could have been her having his baby but she is trying to move on.” If it's any consolation, in 18 years time Brad's baby will regret not being able to inherit your dynamic jaw/bullet nipples combo.