Heather Mills Thinks She’s A Beatle

The one legged McCartney marrier famous for er… having one leg is convinced her end is near. Heather now sees herself as a sort of George Harrison/John Lennon figure and fears that she, like them, may suffer an atempt on her life. Mills feels her highly publicised divorce with Paul McCartney – A real Beatle may spark off an assassination attempt.

As a precaution Mills has been filming passers by and paparazzi in an attempt to keep tabs on any potential attackers. Snappers camped outside her home recall her saying: “John Lennon was shot and George Harrison was stabbed and loads of kids are kidnapped". They failed to note her next move, but I imagine it involved her hopping from room to room, boarding up windows and sawing off shotguns… the A-Team music blaring in the background.