Friend Of Heather Mills Lends A Hand

Or should that be: Heather Mills lends her friend a leg? It seems that the friend took her leg for a pedicure while Mills went shopping - probably for gold bullion, sex books and leg apparel. The pair were snapped outside a nail salon in Rye, near the McCartney Mills mansion in East Sussex where Heather’s been hiding.

It’s been a tumultuous fortnight for Heather, following allegations that she’s had sex for money and taken part in pornographic shoots. You can just imagine her friend, having read the scornful reports, concluding that Mills is some kind of horrific money grabbing pornographer. I picture her furiously dunking the leg into huge vats of nail paint, cursing and spitting out the lyrics to Yellow Submarine, while the McCartney kids dance aggressively around a tanning bed high fiving one another.

Mills Gag: In an interview about his failed marriage, Paul McCartney was asked if he would ever go down on one knee again. He replied........ ''I'd prefer it if you called her Heather'' (thanks to S.M, London)