Mills: £1,000 For Oral

Heather Mills has once again had to deny a deluge of allegations that she used to have sex for money. The News of the World have a sworn affidavit from ex-hooker Denise Hewitt, which claims that the pair took part in Lesbian romps for wealthy Arab princes. For each bout of girl on girl action they would receive up to £5,000. She also revealed that Heather would charge up to £1,000 for oral sex. Several other witnesses have come forward to testify to her work, including Adnan Khashoggi’s private secretary, Abdul Khoury: "In Heather's case I remember his remark that she had soft skin. And was very athletic in bed. Mr Khashoggi was always very pleased with Heather's performance."

It’s getting a bit ridiculous now. I think the lawyers need to take a different approach. So far everyone's agreed that Heather was a really hard worker so perhaps they could agree on a divorce settlement based on her sex rates. The chances are Paul hired her for sex in the first place and then just forgot she was still around. Strange, because I imagine she'd hop. Anyway, if she goes for the £45 million ‘quickie divorce’ it'll cost her just over 30 blows jobs... a day... for 4 years.