Psychotic Elfman Screams At T-Shirt

The blonde half of TV’s Dharma & Greg has been screaming abuse at non-scientologists. Jenna Elfman, her husband Bodhi and an unidentified young man were bounding down the Los Feliz district of LA when they spotted film director John Roecker blaspheming at them through the medium of T-Shirt. "Hey, man, you're making fun of my religion" said Bodhi looking at Roecker’s top (pictured below). Roecker correctly responded with a biley rant against scientology and in particular it’s ‘advanced’ doctrine: The Xenu Story.

Apparently every time he uttered the word ‘Xenu’ the unidentified young man was instructed to cover his ears, rather like a child catching his mum being pleasured by Father Christmas. At one point Bodhi readied himself to take a swing at Roecker, but then thought better of it. The squawking Elfman was less coy: “What crimes have you committed?" she screamed. "Have you raped a baby?" Rocker, who apparently hasn’t ‘raped a baby’ has had similar run-ins with other celebrity scientologists, including Juliette Lewis and Lisa Marie Presley. See Roecker's dissapointingly breathless email detailing the whole incident here.

Scientology's founder Ron Hubbard "was existing almost totally on a diet of drugs" when he wrote the Xenu Story, according to his then assistant Virginia Downsborough. He was in his own words: "drinking lots of rum and popping pinks and greys."

This really is too much. Tom Cruise, John Travolta, Juliette Lewis, Jenna Elfman, Lisa Marie Presley … these people used to be cool, now they’re an army of angry Trekkies covered in bling. Scientology is a like self-help book, except that all the help has been replaced by spaceships, rum and colourful pills. Clearly not good for your 'Elf.