J-Lo Blackmailed By Man With Crap Name

J-Lo’s ex hubby needs to be stopped, according to her lawyers. Ojani Noa has been desperately trying to sell kiss-and-tell filth to the gossip rags, despite being gifted a $125,000 settlement to keep his mouth shut. The 36 year old Latino fears that unless he receives a court judgment preventing him from doing so, Ojani will blather her sex secrets to anyone who’ll listen.

Ojani's currently being accused of demanding a further $5 million from J-Lo to keep silent. The prosecution have just received word that he’s also been trying to flog a “revealing” honeymoon video to the tabloids. Thankfully J-Lo's bottom is so large that watching the video is a bit like watching Dan Dare's chin playing on a trampoline. Probably.