Paul McCartney Wants A Quickie

Paul McCartney appears to be after a quickie divorce. He’s reputedly offered Heather Mills $45 million if she allows their 2 year old daughter Beatrice to stay with him in England. The former sex adult education model has made plans to move to the States once the divorce is finalised because she feels that the British public view her as a ‘gold digger’.

Her publicist has told press that any money she receives in the settlement will be donated to ‘Adopt-A-Minefield’, the charity that she is patron of. "The way she sees it is that there is no point the money sitting in a bank account. It has to be working. The more acres of minefield she can clear, the happier she will be." America, known for it's landmines, will no doubt welcome Mills with open arms. I picture her living on an enormous plastic farm with Anna Nicole Smith and an army of equisite pigs. Anna would forgo all her social commitments and dedicate the rest of her life to hiding Heather's leg.