Spears Divorcing Federline

Frumpy pop breeder Britney Spears has ‘already signed preliminary divorce papers’ to rid herself of K-Fed, according to the News Of The World. A close source revealed: “She is serious about it and even though she’s pregnant she knows that she has to get things moving… It’s a very stressful time for her at the moment what with expecting her second baby.”

Poor old Britney, not only does she have to lug around the haggard, droopy cellulite of a woman twice her age, she also has to burn off that awful leech of a husband. I just hope she gets custody of the children; he’d sell them to gypsies if they offered him colourful enough beads.